Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
