I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
