i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
