I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
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It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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