considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
