he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
