Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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