On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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