i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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