You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I would ride that face into the sunset
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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