Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Couch. On fire.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
