i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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