mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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