It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
