You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
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last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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