So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I want a musical about memes.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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