how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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