my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We don't watch enough power rangers
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
