theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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