i barfeds in our rink
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
