oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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