OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
