I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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