So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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