Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
