Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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