I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
