I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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