I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
