6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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