we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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