your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
