you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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