I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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