after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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