Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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