just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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