just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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