scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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