this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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