is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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