Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
