Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
ok first of all what the fuck
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
