im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
