I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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