He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
