I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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