We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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