I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
