i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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