for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
