I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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