I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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