life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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