I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
