next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
