am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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