Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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