I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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