I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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