You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
