That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear on the fireplace
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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