I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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