So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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